Paying attention to birth order, and each individual child.

The order in which children are born into a family is a fact, but the effect that this order has on their personality and psychology is not a science. Many factors influence the results of birth order including the sex of the children, the physical size of the children and most importantly the spacing between them. The family is the largest influence on a persons development, more so than institutions or cultures outside of the family. Therefore, the influence of birth order in the family structure is worth looking at. However keep in mind when searching for reliable sources on birth order that the only way to discuss birth order is to generalize and stereotype.

Take the following prompt for example from The University of Maine.

Where Do You Fit?

• Perfectionist, reliable, list-maker, well-organized, critical, serious, scholarly
• Mediator, fewest pictures in the family photo album, avoids conflict, independent, extreme loyalty to the peer group, many friends
• Manipulative, charming, blames others, shows off, people person, good salesperson, precocious

If you identified with the characteristics in the first list, you may be an only child or a first-born. If the second list fits you better, chances are you a middle child. And if the last list fits you best, you may be the youngest or baby in the family.

Birth order is not a simple system stereotyping all first-borns as having one personality, with all second-borns another, and last-born kids a third. Instead, birth order is about tendencies and general characteristics that may often apply. Other things also influence birth order.²

http://umaine.edu/publications/4359e/

The underlying factor in birth order is parental attention. The first born experienced 100% of each parents attention while the second born will never know that reality experiencing only 50% of each parents attention. The expectations and implications of birth order are in the hands on the parents. If you expect the first born to do more difficult chores than the second born based solely on age while typically siding with the younger child in disputes than you may notice a personality development that follows suit.

Putting extra time and attention into treating the children as individuals, and giving them each the attention they deserve independent of each other is a good place to start. Expectations are best adjusted so that the older child is not naturally expected to get higher grades while the younger child is expecting to cause youthful trouble. Holding all children to the same standards, while valuing them as individuals with separate interest and talents goes a long way in avoiding Second Child Syndrome.

The Mom’s Choice Awards® Names Baby GoGo® Among Best In Family-Friendly Products

The Mom’s Choice Awards® (MCA) is an awards program that recognizes authors, inventors, companies, parents and others for their efforts in creating quality family-friendly media, products and services.

Parents, educators, librarians and retailers rely on MCA evaluations when selecting quality materials for children and families. The Mom’s Choice Awards® seal helps families and educators navigate the vast array of products and services and make informed decisions.

An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of our panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS’s Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times best-selling author, Priscilla Dunstan, creator of the Dunstan Baby Language; Patricia Rossi, host of NBC’s Manners Minute; Dr. Letitia S. Wright, D.C., host of the Wright PlaceTM TV Show; and Catherine Witcher, M.Ed., special needs expert and founder of Precision Education, Inc.

MCA judges are bound by a strict code of ethics which ensures expert and objective analysis free from any manufacturer association. The evaluation process uses a propriety methodology in which entries are scored on a number of elements including production quality, design, educational value, entertainment value, originality, appeal and cost.

To be considered for an award, each entrant submits five identical samples of a product. Entries are matched to judges in the MCA database. Judges perform a thorough analysis and submit a detailed assessment. Results are compiled and submitted to the MCA Executive Committee for final approval. The end result is a list of the best in family-friendly media, products and services that parents and educators can feel confident in using.

For more information on the awards program and the honorees, visit MomsChoiceAwards.com

For more information on Baby GoGo visit www.babygogodoll.com.

Practical tips on preparing your first born for the birth of your second child.

I have a lot of friends right now who have just had or are about to have their second children. I’m the old pro in the group now that my kids are 6 and 4. We have talked a lot about how to get the older child ready for a new baby in the house. From my experience, both good and bad, here are some great tips for easing the transition:
1) If someone else will be taking care of the child during or after your trip to the hospital, make sure they spend time together before hand, so it doesn’t seem so out shocking. Unfortunately for my family, my husband was traveling full time. When he spent a month working from home and taking care of our son around the birth of my daughter, my son took all of his frustration out on daddy. However, his grandparents made a couple of visits prior to the birth, so he was used to spending time with them and going out on special outings.
2) Avoid any major transitions for the older child around the birth. I made sure to transfer my son out of the crib months before his baby sister would use it. Where I didn’t have as much forethought or control, was that he started preschool just 2 weeks after sister’s birth. Let me just say that it was NOT a smooth transition.
3) Read lots of books about new babies with your child/children. It really does help them know what to expect.
4) Get your child a big sibling gift. A new toy will bring excitement, make them feel special, and may take a lot of their focus, making your life a little easier.
5) Have a doll for your child to learn how to treat the baby, and also so they feel like they have their own special thing to care for while you are caring for the baby.
6) Cut yourself some slack. Don’t worry about a messy house or making a gourmet meal; just take care of yourself and your kids. The rest can be dealt with another day (or week or month!).

Katie

Finding common ground at whattoexpect.com

During your first pregnancy the amount of information you need to gather seems endless. Everyone comes out of the woodwork to give you advice. Relatives from every limb of the family tree, colleagues and neighbors all have input as to exactly how they feel you should be proceeding on every topic related to your family expansion.

At first, all of the advice may be welcome but after you begin making your decisions, the advice keeps coming, welcome or not. How do you grow confident in your own decisions, name choices, birthing and pacifier plans when it seems there are a million people who think and advise differently? Keep in mind that no two families are alike, and no two women or pregnancies are either. While growing confident in your own path regardless of the opinions of others is a great way to start a family, it can also be beneficial to find a community of people from a similar demographic, belief or background for support.

The internet offers a wealth of connections for any type of support you could be interested in. A great place to start is whattoexpect.com from the bestselling author of What to Expect When You're Expecting. Groups you can join include Mom's in College, Dad's Corner, Blended and Multi-Cultural Families, Multiples and Twins and more. Its' an extensive forum for finding people just like you to ask advice of, whether you chose to take it or not.

140 groups including:
Single Moms
Young Moms
January 2011 Babies
Portland Moms
Food Allergies
35+ Moms To Be
Penny Pinchers

While all advice, wanter or unwanted, is worth a listen it helps to have a place where you can find people in a similar situation and ask annonymous and important questions of others in a similar situation. Use the internet to your advantage in your first pregnancy and you will find more than a wealth of information, you'll find support from people in a similar situation.

Is having a second baby a harder decision than the first?

Deciding to begin a family is one of the most pivotal decisions a person can make. Your first child changes your entire life in more ways than can be counted. It is hard to imagine that when the time comes to make a decision about having a second baby, it seems the decision can sometimes be even bigger than the first time around. Questions arise in new areas. What is the proper spacing between siblings? How will this change the one-on-one connection with the first child? Is it possible to love a second child as much as you love the first?

As parents.com points out in the article "Whether to have another child"

In the end, what is best for the family is not whether you actually do or don't have a second child. It is how that question is handled. It can become a power struggle, a source of battle, or a template for how future conflicts between family members are resolved. If you approach each other with compassion, respect, and a willingness to listen, the two of you can work this out in a way that strengthens both your relationship and the family.

Whether it is a harder decision to add a child to the family varies by family. Talk with others, talk with your spouse and understand that there's no right answer. Be open, and honest and remember that you are simply deciding what is right for you and your family.

Baby GoGo Review & Giveaway at Multiples and More!

Multiples and More has a great review of Baby GoGo along with a giveaway. Visit the Multiples and More blog to see Baby GoGo in action. The pictures are worth it. Good luck!

Getting involved with children and reading

Raising smart well adjusted children. Isn't that what we all aim for when we enter that process. The expression that it takes a village to raise a child could not be more clear to me today. I saw a segment on the Today show this morning about summer reading. One child read 280 books during the summer. Pretty unbelievable. The show also talked about how much ground a child loses if they do not read and keep up their skills during summer. When my children where young our library had a summer reading program that our children participated in. Some begrudgenly and some with great enthusiasm. Some of my grandchildren live in a community that does not have such a program. We developed our own. Ours is a little different because it not only includes books it involves other activities that teach responsibility and enriches their world with things they might not do without the nudge. We are in year two of this program and all is going well. Last years treat was seasons tickets to to the Boston Children theatre. Lord knows about this year. It is still a work in progress. As grandparents or aunts and uncles we can help by being part of the village and so can your communities. Get involved with the children . It always pays off in spades.
-Margaret